WHAT IT.............

Questions………… As much as I love asking, I hate hearing and answering them. However unfortunately for me, I mostly end up being at the answering end be it home or office. They can be quite irritating at times. I specifically hate the ones, which start with WHY, WHAT, HOWCOME, HOW. How much ever I detest, they seem to have become an eternal part of my life now. Everyone seems to be having a ball out there asking me questions. At times I wonder, “Am I answerable even to this person?” Perils of being responsible in life I believe.  No one seems to be questioning people who are irresponsible and useless. Wonder when will the world learn to trust my abilities and me.

But there are some questions that I really love. The ones, which start with “WHAT IF”. They are always fun as you can risk to answer them based on the interrogators mood. After all, they can always have multiple and varied answers, from positive to negative, good to bad, hilarious to ugly. Actually depends on how wild you let your imagination flow and how fast you can integrate it with the situation at hand and manipulate things. Trust me answering such questions can be quite fun at times. Has anyone of you ever tried asking or answering couple of such questions? Well, I thought of asking myself some such questions on my own and am sharing the first one along with the answers that came to my mind with all of you.

What If SRK (Shahrukh Khan) was not a part of the film industry?

Well, I would say if SRK was not a part of film industry what would have Aamir Khan called his dog? Whose shows would Amitabh Bachchan compare his shows TRP with, and write a blog article on, loosing out on much wanted traffic and publicity to his blog. Salman Khan’s life would be so unexciting and uneventful with no jaani dushman as they say, and poor Aamir and Salman would never have been best friends mutually trying to outdo SRK. They would instead be trying to outdo eachother then . Neither Karan Johar nor Aditya Chopra would be a director. Well, neither of them has any movie with any other actor and atleast one of them vows not to either. So…… Maratha Mandir would be out of business with no DDLJ to screen for all these years. Who would the critics compare any new launched bright male actor with or for that matter who would the new star look to displace and become the KING of film industry? The actors would not be as rich as they are now, as they would then not have discovered an alternative profession and source of money…… dancing at marriages and personal events to earn a bomb. Bollywood bandwagon might not have been doing endorsements and models would still have been in business. Kolkatta Knight Riders might have performed better in the IPL with no KING size expectations and Ganguly might still have been a part of IPL. Suzannne Roshan would lose out on a best friend Gauri and where would Kajol be today without DDLJ and KKHH? No KING, no frenzy fans, no ideal husband expectations by wives, no rags to riches hero, no nowhere to ruling the heart of millions star to look upto by youngsters, and the list just does not seem to end……… PHEW!!!

I can still come up with many of such answers that too when I have not even started thinking in terms of his movies and character portrayals. I am sure those films would still have been made with some other star but would they still have been the same or even better? Food for thought I must say. I am sure many of you can come up with things that would have been much better and nicer without him around. But the diehard SRK fan in me does not allow to venture into that zone. So what if he gives us a ZOR KA JHATKA at times.

I will soon come up with a new set of what if question and answers to it. Till then, happy reading I would say.

Reality Check

Yesterday while reading the newspaper I came across a headline, which caught my eye, ” Mercury rising, pollution too”.  It was a little uncomfortable to read how the pollution levels were rising in the city, as Mumbai faces the hottest February after almost five years.  Reading this news piece made me sit back and think. Not that it was the first time that I ever read or heard any such thing. Global warming, depletion of natural resources and environmental hazards are the facts we are all well aware of now. But the problem is that it only stops at awareness.  What next? Are we making any efforts towards fighting these issues? I really don’t think so.

The water tank in my adjacent building overflows everyday at around 4pm in the evening for almost an hour.  What a wastage I cribbed always. But did I make any effort to stop this issue? NO…. Not until yesterday when I called up the security guard and the society office to figure out how and why no one was checking this. They assured they would keep a tab on this and I was sure it would happen again. But surprisingly the tank did not overflow today. It made me realize that its better to act than assume nothing is going to change with your individual efforts.

Its not that everyone like me, cribs and not acts. Pick up the Mumbai Mirror for any day and you will find atleast one cover story detailing out how residents of certain areas are fighting builders and organizations to save their gardens, greenery and mangroves. But the irony is that they do not comprise even one percent of the city population. 99.9% individuals think like me. What difference can they make? When no one is bothered why should I be?

More than a year back PCRA had started a campaign on saving fuel.  There was an advertisement wherein the child tells his father actor Ram Kapoor, that he would open a car repair shop when he grew up. He believed the way people were wasting petrol by the time he grew up cycle would be used for communication. It made the father think and he switches off his car engine. A very precise and apt advertisement I would say. But then how many people would have started practicing this after watching the advertisement? Though the thought that our children would be facing these life-challenging issues does worry us at times but not to the extent to make us take cumulative and joint action to face and overcome such standing problems. Seems we are too interested and busy with scams and money scandals all around us.

Was just a few days back chatting with an old friend on phone. She had just finished reading one of Dr. Brian Weiss’s books in which he unveils the reincarnation phenomenon with the help of past life regression therapy on one of his patients. As I had also read it, we started discussing it. I was really surprised to know that she had heard the reincarnation phenomenon, like the West, for the first time through his book. Unlike her in my growing up days reading and hearing about mythological stories was a part of upbringing, thanks to our grandparents around. Most of them had teachings on reincarnation and bearing the fruits of ones own karma in the current or another birth. Reading the book for me was a somewhat reiteration and scientific proof of what I had known. But for her it opened a door to a complete new world and along with it lot of questions like was this not our last birth? Will we be born again?

We discussed how people now are becoming more and more spiritually inclined and follow mediation and spiritual practices thanks to various psychics and healers to be able to fight daily stress and anxiety. But she argued that by doing this they are only focusing on short-term goals which is only restricted to their present birth. We will be reborn again and its not only our children but we in our future births be facing these issues. Whatever harm we do to the environment today, we will have to deal with it in our future births. The karma reaching its full circle with us getting back what we gave in the real sense. So she thought it is very important that in order to make our and our loved ones future life’s better, we should start some awareness campaign to motivate people to take every small step possible and within our reach to help save the environment and earth as a whole.

Though I could not disagree with her arguments and thoughts but then I thought was she not focusing on a too far off a goal. We still have this life to live and doing something to make our next life happy was too far an option to work upon. If everyone around does not have time to make small efforts to make this life worth living would trying to motivate them to take steps to improve future life’s work? NEVER is the only answer I got.

Characteristics that define an ideal life partner

Almost everyone is looking out for an ideal partner to spend his or her life with.  But the problem always is, how to figure out if he/she is that ideal partner for you.  Even after a long courting period most of the couples are not sure and many times end up marrying the wrong person. Being in love with someone does not guarantee he/she is the right person for you. Listed below are just a few tips that would help you in deciding on a partner.

1.    Look out for common interest  - To be able to spend your entire life with someone you need more than just love.  Common interests such as traveling, trekking, photography to name a few or even cooking for that matter will help you in doing exciting things together and help in breaking the monotony of daily life. There is much more fun in doing things that you enjoy, with your partner. It also helps in strengthening the bond between you.

2.    Can you accept the person as he/she is: The most important thing to know is whether you are ready to accept the person as he/she is as today. Marrying somebody and then expecting them to change for you later will only lead to problems. It is important for you to know what are the things you dislike in a person, how much do they really matter to you and will you be able to live with those for the rest of your life. Of course after marriage and with time everyone makes adjustments and eventually changes do happen but expecting them will only lead to disappointments and arguments.   

3.    Is he/she prepared for marriage: Marriage is a life long relationship and needs complete commitment from both the partners. Like any other relationship it needs to be worked upon to make it work. Someone who is not yet ready to tie the knot will certainly face issues making it work and might not be that committed after all.

4.    How well does he/she communicate or understand you: The first rule of a healthy married life is honesty and trust. And this can only be developed with a fair and clear communication between the partners. Clear communication also helps in reaching an understanding about each others likes and dislikes which is quite important.  Miscommunication or not communicating on feelings, fears and doubts will only lead to misunderstandings and problems.

5.    Is he/she well behaved: How does a person behave with others, parents, colleagues, strangers, friends to a large extent help in knowing what/how that person is. A well-mannered person will certainly never be disrespectful to you in life. You will be able to figure out his/her ideologies and likes and dislikes to a large extent by observing his behavior.

6.    How does he/she behave with people below him:  Someone who is disrespectful to people working below him/her like, security guards, watchman, auto drivers etc. might just be rude to you as well. It tells a lot about his beliefs, thinking and ideals. Everyone irrespective of his or her work needs to be treated well.

7.    His/her family background: Though this is the least that matters but still it plays a pivotal role in making a marriage successful. A common family background, values and upbringing help in quicker adjustments to each other and the family after marriage. Different ideologies, values and status only make things a little difficult at the start.

Even if you find some of these things missing in a person you can still go ahead if you really like him/her. Its just that then be prepared to work harder and face more difficulties in making things work after marriage.

What makes a marriage successful?

What makes a marriage successful? Is it love, honesty, or understanding? Is it mutual respect and admiration or actually bonding with each other’s family that helps in sticking together for years? Some say its all about giving space to each other, while others believe its all about being individuals, not interfering in each others way of life.

I would say it involves all this and much more. When two people get married and start living together, it’s a task in itself. Having been born and brought up in different families and environment, there are bound to be differences in lifestyle, habits and thoughts. So is compromise the only way out? Not really!

A marriage is not about compromises and adjustments but more about being able to know each other well and adapt to one another in a positive manner.  If you are able to become good friends before becoming a husband and wife it really works wonders. Love eventually happens or deepens with time. If you are able to share your joys and sorrows, good times and bad times and come out of them together, it’s all that’s needed to make a relationship work. The key to be able to do all this is COMMUNICATION between the partners.

A fair, just and good communication helps in knowing each other better. What one believes in, their point of view on things helps in judging and knowing a person as an individual. Clear communication helps in doing away with misunderstanding, assumptions and pre-conceived notions, if any. It’s anyways not a great idea starting a relationship on assumptions or knowing a person based on what his family and friends think about him/her.  He/she might just not be what they believe or see him/her as.  But be sure to be fair and honest in a communication and trust what the other person says. It should not be used as a means to pick up instances and conversation against one other in situations later.  As correctly said by elders, trust and honesty are the means of making any relationship work.

So when in doubt the next time, or any fleeting thought comes to your mind about your partner, just sit back or pick up the phone and talk. It will certainly put things to rest and do not let space crouch between the two of you.